When I overthink something, the simplest thing can turn into the end of the world. We all do it, but I do it too much. Especially with relationships.
A simple text response one day can be fine, but on a day where I’m feeling less secure in myself, a simple text turns into me questioning my worth. They don’t care enough about me to put thought into their message, they aren’t into me anymore, they’re getting distant to get rid of me. All of those thoughts creep into my brain and leave me feeling helpless. I feel relieved when I finally speak my peace, but 5 minutes later I realize I’ve made a mistake. I’ve once again overreacted, and said something I don’t mean. Made something out of nothing. And I hate it.
A text on read will ruin my day. Why? rather than realize they’re busy maybe looked at it and decided to respond later, I decide they rolled their eyes and scoffed at how clingy I am. I’m not worth their time, and I don’t need to be responded to. Rather than take a chill pill, I freak out and again question my worth.
The person proves to me over and over again that I’m worth the world, but rather than look back on those moments, I get stuck on the fact that they aren’t proving it to me in that moment of hopelessness. Which is wrong, because you can’t expect that from a person. No one can be smothering you with reassurance all the time, it isn’t fair or healthy. I need to realize that.
A small tiny thing, can cause so much anxiety and stress if it happens on the right day. I’m most vulnerable in the morning where I’m not busy, and just thinking. I need to figure out a game plan for the next time this feeling creeps in. Any ideas? Suggest them in the comments.
This issue of mine will scare away every partner I ever have. I fear so much being abandoned, that I end up being the cause of them leaving me. I hope this person knows I’m working on it, and that I might need them to understand sometimes.
Relationships are hard. You can’t use the quadratic formula to solve a problem, and they aren’t something you can study for. All you can do is learn, work on yourself, and on your relationship. Which is what I’m going to do. You need to first acknowledge your issues before you can improve. Cheers to me realizing I’m a little crazy.